Friday, October 29, 2010

This Neighbour of Mine, Part 1.

[A/N] This is a two-shot story. All characters are fictional, except Toma. hihihihi so this is labeled as a fanfiction, my attempt in practicing my long lost writing skills.


"What makes you think that this is easy,huh?" she questioned the older women standing in front of her.
"Because I've been through this, Kei." that woman answered.


"Stop crying, Michiyo."
I turned to face him. "Stop crying?! Do you know what he had done?!! If you came here just to downgrade me, then congratulations, Toma!" I gifted him a deathly glare (which I hope killed him that instant) and he backed off a bit.

Just a bit, though. Then he continued,

"Why in the world would you cry for a person who doesn't even cry for you? You're pretty much stupid, for an 18 year-old girl."

"I'm crying because I'M SAD, YOU IDIOT! Now get out! You're not helping!" I got up and tried to push him out of my room, but to no avail. He is a guy, for God's sake. (and a strong one too, that is.)

"What could I do anyway? I told you not to cry but you still cry. What difference does it make if I do anything? You will cry anyway." he pushed me lightly on my head. Realizing the truth in what he said, I sat, but not facing him. Things went silent for a minute or two until I took a really deep breath and said,

"I love him, Toma. I really love him. In my dreams, he is the one I stand next to on my wedding day. He is the one who takes our son out for a baseball practice. He is the one sitting next to me when we are old and wrinkly. I love him....and-"

"And he is the one holding another girl's hand and kissed her one hour ago." Toma interrupted.

"Shut up, Toma!" I buried my face in my pillow, fighting the urge to cry again as I remember the painful sight.

I saw Hayato and that girl. He was holding her hand. I stood there, nailed to the ground.

Then he kissed her.

Toma laughed, suddenly. I gave him a questioning look. "I really like the part where you punched him. In front of that girl!! Hahahhaha~"

Yes. I punched Hayato after that and broke up with him that instant.

Toma probably realized how quiet I suddenly become when I felt his big, warm hand on my head. He patted it. "Yo. You're crying?"

I shook my head, still wordless.

"Good. Or else I'm afraid I might drown in your tears. You cry a lot. Your eyes are going to get puffy, and you will get wrinkles if you cry." he said. I looked at him. "Really?"

"Urm...yeah. Except the last part." he chuckled. "Ja~ I gotta go now. I have some studying to do and I gotta help my mom with some chores." He gave me another pat on the head and walked away. Before he went out of my room I told him; "Teach your sister to cook, Toma. Your cooking could make girls feel shame."

He smirked. "I would teach her, if only she'd stop playing soccer and stop practicing Kendo. I couldn't call that kid a sister. She's more like a younger brother to me. Reckless and rough. Like you. Hahaha~"


This neighbour of mine couldn't evade the pillow.


Being classmates, I have no choice but to face Hayato every day. When people asked him about the bruise on his face, he said he fell. But they knew better. All of them found out that he cheated on me. How??

That neighbour of mine is a very famous final year student in my school. And he has a loose mouth.

I gotta thank Toma, though. He is one of the not many people in this world who could make such realistic exaggerated stories. He told everyone that Hayato cheated on me, called me bad names when he's with another girl, and then cheated on that girl for another girl. As much as I know Hayato, I don't think that he would do all those stuff (except cheating).

I stopped talking to Hayato, of course. But I have to admit that the pain is still there. All those times I spent together with him... All those hugs and kisses...all those sweet nothings we whispered... And how we spent our time together having lunch under a shady tree during breaks...

Now I sit here, alone.


I literally jumped. Toma laughed so loud I just couldn't help but to shut him up using the cover of my lunch box. He groaned in pain after the hit, but still laughing. I ignored him. I TRIED TO ignore him. When he finally calmed down (finally!), I stared at him. "What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for you~"
"Why? Don't tell me you don't have enough rice in your lunch box."
He casually replied, "I haven't eaten them yet, so I don't know~" and looked into his lunch box.
"Then what do you want?"
"Mo~~ you're grumpy today. Are you on your period?"

"Will you just shut up?"

He patted my head again. "I was actually walking in the hallway and I kind of saw you. You looked so lonely I thought that you might be crying again. This used to be the place where both of you used to spend breaks together, right?"

I nodded.
"And I saw him surrounded by girls in the hallway. Gosh, that makes you look so pathetic. He's having a good time, you know.-------OW!!OWWW!!! STOP IT!!!"

I pinched him hard on his thigh. "If you come here to make a fool out of me, then I suggest you to get up and get lost!!" I pushed him away. Stupid Toma! Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid TOMA!! "Woah~ You're really strong when you're mad...!!.......----- Hm..? Chotto..!! Yah!! Don't cry!!!"

I just couldn't hold back any longer. It's just so painful. "Go...away. The last thing I hearing you calling me....pathetic." I spoke between sobs. He was silent. Maybe he went away already. Good. Just leave me alone.

But to my surprise, I felt a strong arm around my shoulder. I startled, but then I heard him said; "My shoulder is big enough for you to cry on."

I felt my eyes burn again, and cried.

This neighbour of mine is really kind. He's mean, but he's kind enough for me to rely on.

to be continued~

Thursday, April 22, 2010

The One Who Witnessed : The Sweetheart

Aah, sweet rain. It has been a while since the last rainfall. I could still survive for a long time, but still, another rainfall would be great.

And there he was, sitting on the grass, brave enough to take the risk of falling sick because of the falling pearls from the sky. I still wonder what runs through his mind. He seems somewhat strange to me, if I'm to compare him with other guys. I am very much interested in him since the first time he sat near me. Sometimes he speaks in a language that I could not understand, and sometimes he thinks differently than the people he befriends with. A strange lad, but worth of my attention.

He just sat there, staring at the ground. Moments later he got up and walked away. I still couldn't understand what he's thinking.

I woke up the next day and the bright sun greets me as usual. It's quite crowded today and people are trying to find shady places to sit under. Some would sit near me and chat about their day, the people that they like, the people that they despise, their complaints and their plans. It's amusing, to hear different opinions and yet it is annoying at the same time, because there are too many of them.

I noticed a girl. A familiar girl. Syeena. She sat quite far from me, but I can still hear the small chuckles from her as she chatted with her friend. And from afar I saw the boy again. He's with his friends, and their laughter...God, I could still hear them even if I'm in South Africa right now!

He came over to Syeena and told her about the picnic they're having next week. The girl looked enthusiastic about it, "Sure, I'll make the sandwiches. Tuna or eggs, Nash?"

The boy replied, "Both would be good. They're tasty and healthy, good for my muscles."

Syeena laughed, "Yeah. Anything except rocks and woods would be good for your muscles."

Cute girl, I thought. Her rosy cheeks are adorable especially when she's laughing. Oh, after all this time I observe this boy, I realize that he's quite different when he's around Syeena. Hmm. Strange boy. He's sweeter when he's around her. I should just call him "the sweetheart". Ha-ha-ha.

Later at night, he's here again, sitting on the green grass, staring at the sky, sighing occasionally as if in a complete tranquility, different from some sozzled guys returning from parties who always pass by me. The Sweetheart then took out his earphones and listen to the music. But I doubt he's actually listening to it, because he turned aside when a soft noise crept.

"What are you doing out here at this time of night?" Syeena asked, and he just smiled and replied, "What about you?"

"Oh, here." she said and gave him a piece of cake. "Wow. Looks tasty. Must've been hard to make it," he took it from her. "Nah- piece of cake. Pun intended." she laughed. They laughed.
And suddenly her phone rang. She stared at it for a while.

"Nazif?" he asked. She nodded with her usual sweet smile.
"I-- gotta go. Enjoy the cake!" she said and went off. He waved slightly at her, then when she disappeared, I heard another sigh. A deep one, this time. Poor Sweetheart, he just couldn't get what he want.


Another day arrives, and I woke up realizing Sweetheart is already sitting on the ground, leaning his back against me. He's sweating. Morning exercise, perhaps. His buddy came then, panting.

"Hey Nash, I saw Riez last night and I really felt like kicking his sorry ass. Tho-- I don't think that'd be enough, considering what he did to ya."

"Just leave him alone, ShaoKee. If you hit him, it'll just prove that you're a dickhead, just like him." Sweetheart countered. Shaokee let out a heavy sigh and sat next to him. "I still don't get it why would you just let him go. He's a damned asshole and everyone knows that except his girl, whom I think is under a hypnosis, just like what the vampires in Vampire Diaries do to humans."

Nash chuckled, ready to laugh, "Dude, you WATCH Vampire Diaries??"

"Hey, Elena is hot." and both laughed. Silence filled the morning air for a moment, until Shaokee stood up and jumped to reach one of my branches. "You really should stop being soft-hearted, you know. It has been two and a half years and still, she's with Nazif. Get a new girl, dude."
Nash just smiled, "(With a talking hand gesture) Yap-yap-yap is easy, man. She's such an angel and even my younger sister approves! And not every girl gets approved by her!"

"Your crazy-with-photoshop younger sister seems to run a tight ship."
"Nah. She's just crazy."

While I listened, I can't stop wondering if it is possible for a human to be so patient. Sweetheart was backstabbed, for all I know.. and the girl of his dreams is no where to the point of fancying him. And he remains sweet. Some people would end up drinking alcohol every night (and vomit on me) or commit suicide. But Sweetheart is just so....odd.

He didn't come and sit on the ground that night. And for another two days. The fourth day, he sat in my shades, probably waiting for his friends for a study group because he brought tons of books (oh dear brothers)

"Hi, Nash." a voice which is very familiar called him and to my surprise, it was Syeena. "Hey, Syeena." he smiled. "Alone?" she asked.

He looked around with a fake dumbfounded face, "I have an imaginary friend sitting next to me, but you can't see him, so I guess...yeah. I'm alone." and he chuckled, followed by Syeena. "What are the books for? It has been a while since the last time I see the genius Nash with IQ of 124 study."

"IQ levels can drop if I don't read once in a while. Plus, I don't want to be known as just the muscle man. People should know me as the Kick-ass Muscle Man with Brain!!"
Syeena laughed, "People should know you as Nash, Nash. Your name comes with the rest of the words that you mentioned just now; kick-ass, muscle man, brain."
"Tell Professor Luke that. He thinks I'm nothing but a skinny guy who likes basketball."

And silence. Sweetheart may not realize it, but Syeena looked awkward.

" Is the picnic plan going well?" she asked.
"Yeah, sure. I'd go if you go." he said.
"You should. Or else who would finish up all the food?"
"I only finish up the food that you made, Syeena. Even if they're made of papers and glue."
She laughed.
"I'm glad I amuse you."
"Thanks, Nash. You're a sweetheart."

I told you he's a sweetheart.

"I know I am."
"Umm what?" she asked.

"You won't really be using papers and glue to make food, right?"
She laughed again. Boy, you really have a sense of humour.

"So let me know if you're coming to the picnic,okay?" she stood up, ready to go. "Why would you want to know?" he asked, staring at her with half curiosity, half confusion.

"Cuz I'd go if you go."

And she walked away. Sweetheart sat there, frozen, nailed to the ground. Hmm. I sensed something from what she said.

He smiled, and abruptly lie on the grass, smiling.



Saturday, April 17, 2010

A White Demon Love Song.

I played the song again. A White Demon Love Song.

If it wasn't because of The Twilight Saga : New Moon, I would've never discovered this song. Somehow after the first time I heard it, we just clicked.

It reminds me a lot about me. How I cope during hard times, how I held on to life after you left, and how difficult it was to recover after the hard fall.

He isn't coming after all
Love this time
She likes the way he sings
White demon love song's in her dreams

It annoyed me, how the sun still rose beautifully even though I was hurt so much I felt like dying. My greed, my grudges, wanted everyone to suffer like I did. Those tears I shed, turned to blood, turned into grudges, eating me inside, changing me, changing my way of perspective.

White demon, where's your selfish kiss?
White demon sorrow will arrange
Let's not forget about the fear
Black invitation to this place that cannot change
While strangely holy, come for a rain

For a while I was trapped in a dark, hollow place, succumbing in the hatred so deep, I became brave, too brave to do anything, including hurting anyone who comes in my way. And for a while I did so, hurting those around me, both who hurt me and who didn't. Silently, I screamed for help. I wanted someone to help me. It was so painful I couldn't stop crying. As if I no longer know myself.

White demon, widen your heart's scope
White demon, who let your friends go?
White demon, widen your heart's scope
White demon, who let your friends go?

I thought I got weaker. Until one day a light shone above me, and abruptly I realized that I have to swim above, to the light. I swam, reaching for the light. And at the moment I reached the light and held it with my hand, I knew...

I'm moving on.

A White Demon Love Song turned off.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Being in coldness isn't that bad.

It was horrible. The screams, the blood, the tears...

The fears.

Frightened, she turned around and ran away, but the shrieking got closer and closer. And suddenly a cold hand grabbed her shoulder,

And she woke up.

"Ray, wake up.." a familiar voice made her alert all of the sudden. Blinking her eyes a few times, she waited until her vision becomes clear, and at last she could recognize the owner of the voice, none other than Faine, her best friend, her house-mate, her classmate.
"Damn, it's below 4 and you're sweating?? Are you sick or something??" she asked, and Ray sat up, also realizing the same thing, replied; "Nightmare."

Faine stood up and sighed, "Amethyllia Gray, get up, get dressed, and get going! It's 7:20."

"WHAT?!!" Ray looked at the clock and realized that bad things about nightmares are that they will make you wake up either too early, or too late.


"Oh darn! She left me!! Darn that girl!" Ray ran, and stopped in front of the classroom door, peeking inside and saw the lecturer, Mr.Ross giving handouts. Gulping, she lightly knocked on the door. Yet, a light knock is enough to awaken the class, and everyone looked. "Oh, there you are Miss Gray. No, no, don't trouble yourself of coming in. You can just stay out there." Mr.Ross snickered, and Ray just stood there, detecting Faine among her classmates. Faine looked worried, but Ray IS late, after all.

But it wasn't a problem for her.

Ray smiled, and spoke, "Then can I just listen from outside, and sir, can I have one of those?" she pointed to the stack of handouts.

Two hours she sat in front of the door, sitting as if it's her own personal space, looking at Mr. Ross and jotting down notes. Embarassed?? That rarely happened. People who walked at the hallway laughed, and even said hi to her, and she replied them back, with the same wide smile that she gave to Mr. Ross.

Jotting down notes, she listened carefully, and heard footsteps coming. Must be one of her friends. She looked aside.

Faine, from inside, saw the change on Ray's face. Ray looked...frozen. Nailed to the ground. Then Faine saw a guy walking outside the class and she immediately knew what's wrong. And she knew what she should do. Distract Ray.

"Hey, Ray! You need a sweater?? You look like a frozen sitting statue out there! Not that I mind~ You'll make a very good house decoration if you freeze!" Faine teased and got Ray's attention. Eventually, upon hearing it, Mr. Ross finally let Ray in with a slight guilt, just about 15 minutes before the class ends. Ray sat on an empty seat next to her best friend, and murmured "Thanks."


"I couldn't love you. I love her." he spoke.

As if the knife was real, she felt the pain of the back stab. She was frozen. It was freezing, it was snowing. And she wanted nothing except to be buried under the thick, cold snow. So that she could feel nothing but numbness. Slowly with her feet dragging, she entered the house, greeted by Faine at first, but the girl didn't get a reply. Ray looked dead.

She died that day. He killed her. He ripped her chest, he took her heart, he stole her smile.

He killed her.


"Ray," Faine called. The girl with a black-framed specs turned, and looked at Faine. Faine couldn't read the expression on her best friend's face. A mix of joy...and pain. She knew she couldn't ask whether Ray is okay or not, because Ray would always answer that she is couldn't possibly be better than that, but somehow Faine knew..somewhere very deep in Ray's heart, there's a plea for help.

Well, that is.. if she still has it. The heart.

Faine smiled, and took Ray's hand. "Your hand is cold. Looks like Mr. Ross really got you today, huh?" Upon hearing that, Ray chuckled. "Well, sitting outside the class isn't that bad. You get to see the falling snow outside. Tho I have to agree that it IS freezing cold. It makes me feel like having a mug of hot chocolate...Anyhow, I hope that old man felt hella guilty for making me sit outside!" Ray laughed.

Faine felt insecure, in a way of concerned about whether Ray is really smiling her smile or not. Ever since that day, Faine was almost protective of her best friend. Almost everything could hurt the girl, and almost everything could make her cry. Ray knew better, not to show that side of her to the public, which made Faine's heart wrench even more. Ray was in pain. And probably still is, but refused to share it.

Finally Faine decided to ask. "Are you really okay, Ray? I just want to make sure.. It has been two weeks..." Faine tightened her grip on Ray's hand, waiting for an answer. Ray stared at her for a while, and took a very deep breath. "You know, Faine.... It's still painful. The wound, the scar, the moments, everything. But you have been nothing but supportive. I may have lose him, I may have lose some of my pride, but I am so glad I haven't lose you. I will recover from all of these horrible feelings, I will move on, but I will still need you."

Faine felt a tinge of happiness in her, to know that she is really needed. And she got this feeling of things are going to be alright afterwards, where she no longer have to worry about whether Ray is really fine or not.


"Stop it...!! Go away!! Leave me alone!!"

But the shrieking got louder and louder, it began to hurt her ears, hurt her head.


"Ray! Ray! Wake up!!" Faine's voice snapped her back to reality, and she found herself lying on the sofa, sweating. She was panting as if she had run five miles, and she noticed that Faine is looking at her. "Another nightmare?" Faine asked and handed Ray's specs to her. Ray nodded and apologized, whisper style. Faine sighed, but then gave Ray a slight smile. "Come on. Let's go out and have a cup of coffee. Hayden and his friend will be joining us. It has been a while since I saw him. And you need to get out once in a while." Faine pulled her up on her feet. " But it's cold out there..." said Ray. "Well, it's better than locking yourself up in this house. Come on, get ready." Faine pushed Ray playfully, earning a laugh from the other girl.

"Oh My God! Faine, it's cold!!!! Hurry up and get insideee!!" Ray pleaded and pushed Faine to enter the cafe quickly. "Alright, alright! Stop pushing!! People are looking at us!" Faine laughed. As they get inside, Faine was ogling the cafe, as if looking for something, and Ray noticed Hayden, a handsome guy with black sweater waving at them. Faine had the biggest crush on him and he's a nice guy anyway, so Ray had no objections if Faine asks her to come along to meet Hayden. After all, Hayden studies arts and designs in a different university, so it's quite hard for Faine to see him.

It was then, when Ray walked to Hayden's table that she realized that there was another guy sitting next to him. "Faine, Ray, meet Matthew. He's my housemate, currently studying architecture, and Matt, this is Faine and her housemate, Ray."

Ray observed Matthew, a guy with dark hair and dark orbs, but with little smile. He seems somehow cold, and she wondered how did he got along with Hayden, because Hayden is the opposite of him.

Throughout lunch, it were mostly Faine and Hayden who talked. Ray and Matthew listened, already sensing that something is really going to happen between those two. "Hey guys, do you mind if we leave you for a while? I need to get a present for my sister." Matthew spoke. "We?" Hayden asked. Matthew looked at Ray, earning a shocked gasp from her. "I'm coming along?" she asked. "Well, I'm not good in choosing presents for girls." he said, and somehow Ray could see the expression on his face, which translated :

"Let's let them have their own quality time."

Ray smiled and got up. "O-yeah. Let's go. I have some fabulous ideas for presents." Ray smiled and followed Matthew out of the cafe, but as soon as the cold air hits her skin, she shivered. "Are you okay?" he asked. "I'm fine. I just have low tolerance for coldness," she replied with equanimity even though it was clear to Matthew that she feels extremely cold at the moment. "Come. Let's find a bookstore." Matthew suddenly pulled her hand, and it shocked her. His hand is so warm.

They managed to find a bookstore somehow, and it was warm. "I thought you want to find a present for your sister..?" Ray teased. Matthew gave a slight smile, which shocked her for the second time. "I wish those two would get together soon. It is so damn obvious that they like each other but no one's making a move." he joked, and earned a laugh from Ray.

"So what is your full name?" Ray asked. "Matthew Samuels. Yours?"
"Amethyllia Gray."
"Wow." he simply said.
"Nice name."
"My parents have this obsession with gemstones. My name came from Amethyst. I'm just glad they didn't name me Ruby or Moonstone or Lapis Lazuli or worst, Diamond."

Matthew laughed out loud, and Ray immediately realize that her first impression of that guy is totally wrong. He is..... warm.

"Thanks, Matthew." she murmured.
"Your hand was warm."

Matthew smiled. "Glad to warm you up." At the moment Ray saw that smile,

An epiphany occurred. It hit her.

She's moving on. For real.

In the cold December, she had found her fire. She stared at Matthew, earning a questioning look from him. "Is there something on my face?" he asked. "No, but you made me realize something."
she replied. "Really? What is it?"

"Being in the coldness isn't that bad...cuz I get to appreciate warmth."

Matthew looked at her. "I'm not really following you."

Ray smiled. " You will...someday."


[A/N] This short story is full of underlying meaning... it takes quite a few pondering to really get what some lines reaaally mean.