Thursday, April 22, 2010

The One Who Witnessed : The Sweetheart

Aah, sweet rain. It has been a while since the last rainfall. I could still survive for a long time, but still, another rainfall would be great.

And there he was, sitting on the grass, brave enough to take the risk of falling sick because of the falling pearls from the sky. I still wonder what runs through his mind. He seems somewhat strange to me, if I'm to compare him with other guys. I am very much interested in him since the first time he sat near me. Sometimes he speaks in a language that I could not understand, and sometimes he thinks differently than the people he befriends with. A strange lad, but worth of my attention.

He just sat there, staring at the ground. Moments later he got up and walked away. I still couldn't understand what he's thinking.

I woke up the next day and the bright sun greets me as usual. It's quite crowded today and people are trying to find shady places to sit under. Some would sit near me and chat about their day, the people that they like, the people that they despise, their complaints and their plans. It's amusing, to hear different opinions and yet it is annoying at the same time, because there are too many of them.

I noticed a girl. A familiar girl. Syeena. She sat quite far from me, but I can still hear the small chuckles from her as she chatted with her friend. And from afar I saw the boy again. He's with his friends, and their laughter...God, I could still hear them even if I'm in South Africa right now!

He came over to Syeena and told her about the picnic they're having next week. The girl looked enthusiastic about it, "Sure, I'll make the sandwiches. Tuna or eggs, Nash?"

The boy replied, "Both would be good. They're tasty and healthy, good for my muscles."

Syeena laughed, "Yeah. Anything except rocks and woods would be good for your muscles."

Cute girl, I thought. Her rosy cheeks are adorable especially when she's laughing. Oh, after all this time I observe this boy, I realize that he's quite different when he's around Syeena. Hmm. Strange boy. He's sweeter when he's around her. I should just call him "the sweetheart". Ha-ha-ha.

Later at night, he's here again, sitting on the green grass, staring at the sky, sighing occasionally as if in a complete tranquility, different from some sozzled guys returning from parties who always pass by me. The Sweetheart then took out his earphones and listen to the music. But I doubt he's actually listening to it, because he turned aside when a soft noise crept.

"What are you doing out here at this time of night?" Syeena asked, and he just smiled and replied, "What about you?"

"Oh, here." she said and gave him a piece of cake. "Wow. Looks tasty. Must've been hard to make it," he took it from her. "Nah- piece of cake. Pun intended." she laughed. They laughed.
And suddenly her phone rang. She stared at it for a while.

"Nazif?" he asked. She nodded with her usual sweet smile.
"I-- gotta go. Enjoy the cake!" she said and went off. He waved slightly at her, then when she disappeared, I heard another sigh. A deep one, this time. Poor Sweetheart, he just couldn't get what he want.


Another day arrives, and I woke up realizing Sweetheart is already sitting on the ground, leaning his back against me. He's sweating. Morning exercise, perhaps. His buddy came then, panting.

"Hey Nash, I saw Riez last night and I really felt like kicking his sorry ass. Tho-- I don't think that'd be enough, considering what he did to ya."

"Just leave him alone, ShaoKee. If you hit him, it'll just prove that you're a dickhead, just like him." Sweetheart countered. Shaokee let out a heavy sigh and sat next to him. "I still don't get it why would you just let him go. He's a damned asshole and everyone knows that except his girl, whom I think is under a hypnosis, just like what the vampires in Vampire Diaries do to humans."

Nash chuckled, ready to laugh, "Dude, you WATCH Vampire Diaries??"

"Hey, Elena is hot." and both laughed. Silence filled the morning air for a moment, until Shaokee stood up and jumped to reach one of my branches. "You really should stop being soft-hearted, you know. It has been two and a half years and still, she's with Nazif. Get a new girl, dude."
Nash just smiled, "(With a talking hand gesture) Yap-yap-yap is easy, man. She's such an angel and even my younger sister approves! And not every girl gets approved by her!"

"Your crazy-with-photoshop younger sister seems to run a tight ship."
"Nah. She's just crazy."

While I listened, I can't stop wondering if it is possible for a human to be so patient. Sweetheart was backstabbed, for all I know.. and the girl of his dreams is no where to the point of fancying him. And he remains sweet. Some people would end up drinking alcohol every night (and vomit on me) or commit suicide. But Sweetheart is just so....odd.

He didn't come and sit on the ground that night. And for another two days. The fourth day, he sat in my shades, probably waiting for his friends for a study group because he brought tons of books (oh dear brothers)

"Hi, Nash." a voice which is very familiar called him and to my surprise, it was Syeena. "Hey, Syeena." he smiled. "Alone?" she asked.

He looked around with a fake dumbfounded face, "I have an imaginary friend sitting next to me, but you can't see him, so I guess...yeah. I'm alone." and he chuckled, followed by Syeena. "What are the books for? It has been a while since the last time I see the genius Nash with IQ of 124 study."

"IQ levels can drop if I don't read once in a while. Plus, I don't want to be known as just the muscle man. People should know me as the Kick-ass Muscle Man with Brain!!"
Syeena laughed, "People should know you as Nash, Nash. Your name comes with the rest of the words that you mentioned just now; kick-ass, muscle man, brain."
"Tell Professor Luke that. He thinks I'm nothing but a skinny guy who likes basketball."

And silence. Sweetheart may not realize it, but Syeena looked awkward.

" Is the picnic plan going well?" she asked.
"Yeah, sure. I'd go if you go." he said.
"You should. Or else who would finish up all the food?"
"I only finish up the food that you made, Syeena. Even if they're made of papers and glue."
She laughed.
"I'm glad I amuse you."
"Thanks, Nash. You're a sweetheart."

I told you he's a sweetheart.

"I know I am."
"Umm what?" she asked.

"You won't really be using papers and glue to make food, right?"
She laughed again. Boy, you really have a sense of humour.

"So let me know if you're coming to the picnic,okay?" she stood up, ready to go. "Why would you want to know?" he asked, staring at her with half curiosity, half confusion.

"Cuz I'd go if you go."

And she walked away. Sweetheart sat there, frozen, nailed to the ground. Hmm. I sensed something from what she said.

He smiled, and abruptly lie on the grass, smiling.



Saturday, April 17, 2010

A White Demon Love Song.

I played the song again. A White Demon Love Song.

If it wasn't because of The Twilight Saga : New Moon, I would've never discovered this song. Somehow after the first time I heard it, we just clicked.

It reminds me a lot about me. How I cope during hard times, how I held on to life after you left, and how difficult it was to recover after the hard fall.

He isn't coming after all
Love this time
She likes the way he sings
White demon love song's in her dreams

It annoyed me, how the sun still rose beautifully even though I was hurt so much I felt like dying. My greed, my grudges, wanted everyone to suffer like I did. Those tears I shed, turned to blood, turned into grudges, eating me inside, changing me, changing my way of perspective.

White demon, where's your selfish kiss?
White demon sorrow will arrange
Let's not forget about the fear
Black invitation to this place that cannot change
While strangely holy, come for a rain

For a while I was trapped in a dark, hollow place, succumbing in the hatred so deep, I became brave, too brave to do anything, including hurting anyone who comes in my way. And for a while I did so, hurting those around me, both who hurt me and who didn't. Silently, I screamed for help. I wanted someone to help me. It was so painful I couldn't stop crying. As if I no longer know myself.

White demon, widen your heart's scope
White demon, who let your friends go?
White demon, widen your heart's scope
White demon, who let your friends go?

I thought I got weaker. Until one day a light shone above me, and abruptly I realized that I have to swim above, to the light. I swam, reaching for the light. And at the moment I reached the light and held it with my hand, I knew...

I'm moving on.

A White Demon Love Song turned off.